It was night...I hear a beeping next to me and a buzzing under my arm..I wake up startled.Is it a dream or reality?...Are they paging me?..Am I in the on call room, again?...Where am I exactly? Then, I hear noises emerging from underneath the blanket..Is it the whistling of a train or some incoherent symphony with a magnitude of chaotic instruments? Or isn't it my husband ?...I remember that I grew older,that I am no longer an intern.Now, I am an outpatient doc with four children married to a 24/7 on call cardiologist,who needed to be awakened by me to answer his page this time,because he had spent an eighteen hours work day,saving lives...I wake him up...He is startled too..Back to reality!...He does his reality check,grabs the phone and answers the nurse on the other line...I can't help it...I listen to the conversation...The physician in me rises and my brain starts functioning...Medical conditions,diagnosis,differential...I am worried about the patient-although I know she is being taking care of by the best...and I start thinking about my own patients,reviewing all the details of the day and of the past weeks..For some reasons,I recall the minute details at nighttime when everything is quiet and my brain is the only one speaking,scrutinizing and in charge...Being detail oriented,obsessive compulsive is for me, part of being a physician...My sleep is disturbed ,but my conscience is clear!
It is Christmas time and my to do list is huge!I have to use all my wit,and juggling skills to fit everything in my schedule...and I have to keep my smile! It is hard during the holiday season,when I miss home so much!
Yet,I have to give myself a pat on the shoulder and keep going,keep on smiling and eliminate all the negative thoughts that try to penetrate my fort...Sometimes,I succeed.Other times,I don't..I am only human and I have learned to give myself breaks...But I am doing my best,as a friend of mine said and I am loving it...
I am loving my life,my ups and downs and myself...We all deserve to be happy...and that pat on shoulder,I am giving it to myself every morning when I look at myself in the mirror...
This Christmas season,I will be remembering and praying for all the moms who are bringing sunshine into their lives,who are making Christmas cheers and laughter resonate in their homes...and to the dads too!
So Merry Christmas,friends! May the peace of Jesus be always with you!
Love,
Roula
It is Christmas time and my to do list is huge!I have to use all my wit,and juggling skills to fit everything in my schedule...and I have to keep my smile! It is hard during the holiday season,when I miss home so much!
Yet,I have to give myself a pat on the shoulder and keep going,keep on smiling and eliminate all the negative thoughts that try to penetrate my fort...Sometimes,I succeed.Other times,I don't..I am only human and I have learned to give myself breaks...But I am doing my best,as a friend of mine said and I am loving it...
I am loving my life,my ups and downs and myself...We all deserve to be happy...and that pat on shoulder,I am giving it to myself every morning when I look at myself in the mirror...
This Christmas season,I will be remembering and praying for all the moms who are bringing sunshine into their lives,who are making Christmas cheers and laughter resonate in their homes...and to the dads too!
So Merry Christmas,friends! May the peace of Jesus be always with you!
Love,
Roula
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